"Where’s the beef?" That iconic phrase from the annals of advertising yore is just one of the thoughts that come to mind after viewing the recent Windows 10 "Hardware Event" in New York. Microsoft had an opportunity to really "wow" the industry with something new and innovative. Instead, it served up a re-hash of technologies and trends that have been old news for months now:
Surface Pro 4 -- Evolutionary rather than revolutionary, which is a good thing if you’re hawking BMWs and want to keep last year’s customers from feeling cheated, but not so great if you’re trying to showcase true innovation. Performance bump? Modest. Weight reduction? Negligible. Fanless? Only on the lowest-end model, and even then you save very little on weight.
In fact, aside from "Windows Hello" support (which is a terrible idea in itself -- think "random airport screening"), there is nothing compelling about the Surface Pro 4. If anything, Microsoft has walked the design back in some areas, like the bezel size (smaller does not always equal better) and the removal of the Start button (the assault on thumb navigation continues). Oh, and wasn’t Surface Pro 4 supposed to get some sort of dynamic bezel resizing technology (the rumor mills also took a hit with this one)? Just meh.
Surface Book -- Aside from the stunningly unimaginative name, the Surface Book seems like a device full of superlatives -- just not the ones Microsoft might use: "It’s the fattest Surface ever, heavier than a pair of Surface 3s glued together and almost as ugly".
Could Microsoft have possibly made a more unattractive device? Coming from an iPad or even a Surface 3, the Surface Book looks plain clunky. That hinge. Those horrible serrated looking vents. The "muscle" locking mechanism (mixed organic/tech terms just sound "icky"). Surface Book is the "Ikea Coffee Table" of laptops, right down to the "lid" that doesn’t fully close (though that "teardrop" gap looks like a tempting place to try to store the Surface Pen).
To be sure, the Surface Book’s specifications are impressive -- for a hybrid device. However, that starting price point of $1499 ensures that only Tesla owners will be buying one. Everyone else will do like Sheldon Cooper and grab a nice, tricked-out Alienware laptop. And maybe an iPad.
HoloLens -- Cool demo. But how long before some poor PTSD-addled soul shoots up his local Starbucks because -- according to the Police Report -- he saw "giant alien spiders crawling out of the display case…you know, the one where they keep those stale $6 sandwiches".
Lumia Devices -- First, Microsoft should have never let the guy who think’s he’s "too cool for school" give a demo. The shtick was tired and the jokes fell flat. Then there was the clever weaving of CYA language into the presentation ("PC-like experience") so that, when customers realize how limited a solution like Continuum really is, the company will have an out (e.g. no running apps side-by-side in "desktop" mode). But the phones do look nice -- very "retro" of Microsoft to keep the drab Lumia styling of yesteryear alive and well in 2015.
Bottom Line: After so much hype, the "Windows 10 Hardware Event" was a huge disappointment. Microsoft lightly tweaked Surface Pro, introduced its obese cousin, and set the stage for either mass shootings or riots from frustrated mobile users (that object whizzing by your head was a Lumia 950XL after the owner realized she couldn’t snap Edge and Word together).
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